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using negative emotional prompts for positive outcomes

As with many good ideas, this one came when I was trying to give someone else advice. A friend of mine was asking me about the post surgical physical therapy I did a couple years ago, and so I told her all about dead bugs.

she said. bracelet personnalisé avec lettre how often should I do them you catch yourself feeling a wave of angry and resentful, I joked. that as your prompt to drop onto the floor like a dead bug. then a little lightbulb went off in my head and I was like holy shit, what if I actually did that! Maybe not with dead bugs and resentment, but with jumping jacks and boredom!

We all have so many things we know we SHOULD bracelet femme bohème do, but ug it so hard to make the time to do new things especially when we all so busy being stressed out, restlessly bored, vaguely miserable,generally unhappy, dealing with floating rage, or maty bracelet argent enfant whatever your personal favorite miserable brain loop is.

called Opposite Action, a follower named Kylie wrote me within an hour. part of Dialectic Behavior Therapy. now we talking. bracelet femme festina Finally I had a phrase! I could start researching! And oh you know I did some researching:

So first, it looks likeDialectic Behavior Therapy was originally developed for folks dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder. I liked this description: of the main ideas underlying DBT is that while you bracelet femme tortue may not be responsible for all bracelet argent carpe diem of the events that have occurred to create the current problem you are facing (however severe), you are nonetheless responsible for effectively solving the problem. part bracelet personnalisé femme avec pierre de naissance of DBT, Opposite Action was developed as an emotional regulation technique of acknowledging an overwhelming emotion and then transforming it into something more desirable. You don deny the emotion, but instead of doing something negative with it, you can transform the emotion into something more beneficial.

I liked this description of Opposite Action:

Use Mindfulness to notice the emotion, bracelet argent 3 prenoms bracelet personnalisé femme pas cher the action urge (and, if possible, the prompting event and the bracelet femme 40€ interpretations of the prompting event).

Ask yourself, is this emotion justified or unjustified

Don’t suppress the emotion, when we suppress emotions, they just get bigger. Emotions are not the problem urges bracelet personnalisé femme avec photo and/or intensity are the problems.

Ask yourself, if bracelet femme indou the emotion is justified, if theintensityof the emotion is justified or helpful. If the emotion is not justified or the intensity of the emotion is not helpful:

Do the opposite of the emotional urge.

Do all the way Opposite Action.

And then I found this awesome list of examples of Opposite Actions: 10 Practical Examples of Opposite Action,and it all started to feel like it was making sense!

Opposite Action example 1: dancing instead of scrolling

Ok, so how about looking at two ways I using Opposite Action esque method in my own life.

Stating the obvious here: my biggest compulsion is social media, and I hit it the hardest when I bored and restless. Life feels meaningless and empty Grab my phone (HA! As if it ever out of my hand Ug) and start scrolling then find myself an hour later, with life feeling even MORE meaningless and empty. Good work, Stallings.

I decided to try seeing if I could bracelet femme cheval catch myself hitting the social media rat lever, and consciously make the choice to do something different. What if I bracelet personnalisé homme histoire d’or used that boredom and restlessness as a reminder that I needed bracelet femme initiale some real world stimulation What if instead of scrolling, I put on headphones and danced around the room for a song

First it was hard to have the awareness to even catch myself doing scrolling the misery loop is bracelet femme surf so mindless that I not even conscious of it happening. But after catching myself a few times and dancing around the room for a few minutes, it became easier to notice. And, better yet instead of life feeling even more meaningless and empty, I had a sense of bracelet femme manor movement and warmth, joy and shift.

It bracelet femme argent 2016 not rocket science: choosing to dance feels better than mindless scrolling. The action becomes its own reward.

I started trying this method out with other prompts and actions too, and every time the action became its own reward. It not like, I do X instead of bracelet argent coeur dans un rond Y because I should it do X instead of Y becauseit feels better. pleasure becomes its own reward system. The pleasure becomes its own carrot danging on a string no stick necessary. I don dance instead of scroll because I SHOULD, now I dance instead of scroll because IT FEELS BETTER.

Opposite Action example 2: self care instead of compulsive communication

Here another example of how I been using this in my personal life, and warning: this gets deep into both bracelet personnalisé gravure therapy talk so if that not your jam, pull your emergency escape cord now cuz here we go.

5 books that changed my life this year (no, like, ACTUALLY changed my life)

There were a few books this year that changed my life not in that hyperbolic « omg this cup of chai is like totally changing. Read more

Y know I been reading a lot about how attachment issues play out in adult relationships One of the things us anxious attachment types deal with is a hypervigilant attachment system. For me, the symptom of bracelet femme emaux hypervigilance is a physical stab in my chest. It bracelet argent celte an unbearable sensation, usually triggered by a communication snafu that sends me into a panicked tailspin of fear and full frontal freak out.

Historically speaking, I dealt with bracelet argent avec plaque this sensation by doing what many anxious attachment types do: desperate compulsive communication. I never been the 10 increasingly unhinged voicemails kind of person, or even the 20 texts that culminate in off you clearly hate me!!!’ kind of person but let just say I understand the emotional sensation that causes people to do those things.

Me, I more of a a couple slightly overbearing texts and then sit clutching my phone, sweating and freaking out refreshing the screen compulsively kind of person, y last time one of these hypervigilant anxiety pangs hit me, I decided to try something different: instead of desperately seeking communication and care from someone else, what if I used the sensation as a prompt reminding me that what I really needed bracelet femme ferragamo was to take care of myself..